


Rain

by becky_rogerz



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels), PlayChoices
Genre: Angst, Choices, Ethan Ramsey - Freeform, Extended scene of the car drive of Chapter Twelve, F/M, Feelings, Love, Open Heart MC, Open Heart Second Year, Playchoices - Freeform, Romance, Sadness, book two, missing moment, open heart, post trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becky_rogerz/pseuds/becky_rogerz
Summary: The gloomy night reflected Ethan and Rain’s desolation, but through childhood memories and philosophical considerations about the rain, both will be able to find a way to deal with their feelings.- This is an extended version of the car drive scene of the 12th Chapter of the second book-
Relationships: Doctor Ramsey x MC, Ethan Ramsey X MC, Ethan Ramsey/ MC, Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 5





	Rain

“Do you think it knows?”

Rain’s voice broke the silence; it was soft, almost like a whisper.

Surprised by the sudden question, Ethan’s eyes widened; his fingers clenched around the steering wheel and his gaze tentatively fixed on the street.

Outside the car, Boston darted past them; the dim shapes of the city followed each other confusingly in the rainy night, disappearing under the undaunted roar of water.

“What?” he replied, almost confusedly.

“The rain? It just seems…” Rain took a deep breath, nervously fidgeting her fingers on her lap, “...too appropriate. Like it knows today was a day for grey and tears and misery.”

Her words came out in a melancholic melody, dark notes filled with sadness and resignation.

Ethan glanced at her; the concern reflected in the features of his face.

With her arms wrapped around her body – an unconscious attempt to protect herself﹣Rain was gazing out of the car window; her little frame looked even smaller illuminated by the silver lights of the night. So defenceless against all the things that were surrounding her. 

Ethan’s fingers increased the grip on the steering wheel; his knuckles whitened from the strength of the grasp.

He hated to see Rain in that state; painfully vulnerable, fragile. The accident drained her of her energy, replacing her with the ghost of what she had been.

In that week there hadn’t been her usual jokes, her irritating references to popular culture that always got on his nerves. Ethan hadn’t heard her singing in the halls as she used to do every day, the sound of her laughter seemed like a distant memory. 

Instead of being social and bright as usual, Rain closed herself off. When she hadn’t been lost in her own thoughts – her mind drifted far away, in distant places known only by her﹣she had been nothing but constantly on edge, angry and frustrated.

She had pushed away all the people who had tried to make her talk about her feelings, showing them a side of her personality that nobody hadn’t seen before. All of them had been left helpless against her unwillingness to let them in. She was a supernova about to collapse in on herself, ready to pull everyone inside the black hole that she would leave.

After Mrs Martinez’s death Rain had needed all the moral help she could get, but now she decided to carry her own burden alone. A martyr in a crusade of despair and self-hatred.

And it wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that someone as good and kind as Rain had to face that horror. It wasn’t fair that of all the people in the world, she was the one who was suffering so desperately.

A mix of rage and frustration darkened Ethan’s face.

The irony of life was cruel at times.

Ethan Ramsey, an internationally renowned doctor, who devoted his life into helping others, was so damned powerless in the face of the agony that the person he cared the most was feeling. For the first time in his life, his medical knowledge wasn’t enough to cure someone, and he had no idea what to do or how to act.

Ethan glanced back at the road; pain reflected in his eyes.

His memories brought him back months ago, during his self-segregation in the Amazon. That pathetic attempt to repress his feelings had been in vain since the beginning, he should have known from the start that nothing could erase Rain from his head. Even then, miles away from her, she had always been there with him, filling up his thoughts: her warm and soft voice was the background music inside his mind, her smile was the dreams he had at night, her laughter was the bell that woke him up in the morning. 

Ethan had felt her presence in the persistent rain; almost like a joke of faith, she had always reflected the same characteristics as her namesake: they were both disruptive, penetrating, thunderous and beneficial.

But now that Rain was physically there, sitting beside him, Ethan never felt so distant.

He carefully slowed to take a turn; the screeching water was beating unyieldingly against the windows of his car. 

“I think that’s what we’re bringing to it,” He finally answered, his words a bitter sigh, “but I take your meaning.”

Silence fell again between the two of them.

Rain’s eyes were still fixed on the gleaming city, it was like she was mesmerized by the shaking drawings depicted by the neon lights.

“I know it would probably sound silly, but when I was little, I thought that the rain and I were connected,” she said, her red lips tugged into the ghost of a smile.

At those words, Ethan raised an eyebrow, curious; his glance staring at the road ahead of him. 

“You did?”

“Yeah,” the hint of a laugh escaped her mouth, “I was so sure that my parents had called me Rain because of this, that I really convinced myself that I could control it with the power of my mind.”

For the first time since she got into the car, Rain turned to look at Ethan; her face relaxed, almost carefree. He quickly looked back at her, the exchange of a shy smile.

“Once I even tried to summon a rainstorm against a boy that used to make fun of me during elementary school.”

Ethan smiled, “I assume it didn’t work.”

“You are wrong, _caro mio_ ,” Rain crossed her arms to her chest, a smug grin on her face, “the next morning there was a huge storm, with lots of hail, thunder and lightning bolts. I was so proud of myself, that I forced my brother to follow me into the street outside home just to feel and contemplate my doing.”

Amused, Ethan shook his head “I refuse to believe it”.

“Well, I totally did it, and the cold that River and I caught that morning proves it,” with her chin resting on the palm of her hand, Rain turned to look out of the window, “too bad it happened only once”.

Sadness muted her again, enveloping her in a dark shadow.

Worried, Ethan held a breath. Rain had finally smiled after days, even for a brief moment, only to shut herself again, slowly drifting away once more. He was so afraid of losing her, afraid of watching her slip away into an ocean of sorrow and fear with no possible way out. Without realizing it, Ethan found himself glancing at her one more time.

“So, why did they do that?” he asked her, forcing himself to focus on the road.

Abruptly snapped out of her thoughts, Rain turned to him, her eyes broadened in surprise, “ _Who_ did _what_?” 

“Your parents,” he continued calmly, “why did they call you Rain?”

Rain squeezed her lips together, a small dimple appeared above her right eyebrow; the pensive look that her face took every time she was pondering on a medical case.

“I think there are two version of the story” she said thoughtfully, a finger raised in front of her.

“The first one recounts that my brother and I were born during one of the hottest summers that Milan had ever experienced. Legend has it that during our childbirth it began to rain so powerfully that the water, coming down from the sky, created the Navigli, the five rivers of the city”, her voice was low and soft; words were spelled out clearly, with the emphasis of an actor who was performing a monologue on the stage.

“And because of that miracle, my brother and I became River and Rain.”

Smiling, Ethan lifted his eyes to the sky, shaking his head imperceptibly.

“You don’t say!” he replied, his tone filled with sarcasm.

Rain wrinkled her eyebrows, “Don’t mock me, Ethan, it’s true.”

She retorted seriously, lifting another finger, “the second story it’s pretty disappointing. Basically, during her pregnancy, my mother was directing a theatre play about the water cycle and the idea that water symbolizes life and hope appealed to her so much that me and River ended up having two names that belong in geography books.”

“I presume this is the truth, right?”

“You’ll never know.”

The car stopped ahead of a traffic light; in front of the two doctors, the city was almost opaque due to the heavy rain that was falling tirelessly. Ethan and Rain turned to look at each other, their eyes shining in the darkness of the night, two tender smiles holding thousands of unspoken words.

They should have said something, they should have convinced themselves that their previous exchange of jokes had been enough to mitigate their pain. But neither of them could pretend to be okay, neither of them could ignore the suffocating grip on their chests.

Unable to sustain the intensity of Ethan’s gaze, Rain lowered hers; her fingers playing timorously with the skirt of her dress. Distressed by her reaction, Ethan forced himself not to seek out her hand; as much as he wanted to comfort her, he had no idea how she would react to that gesture.

He felt disoriented; there were no more clear answers, no more rational choices to take. Every single certainty had shattered, the glasses of a mirror now unable to show the reality.

“If River was here, he’d surely taunt me saying that he has always been right to tell me to not become a doctor.”

The implications of that statement twisted Ethan’s stomach; his fingers tingling, and his heart tightened into an asphyxiating clasp, ice was flowing sharply through his veins. The fear that Rain regretted having pursued that career, that she regretted being there, in Boston, at Edenbrook, _with him_.

The possibility that for Rain what there was between them - their connection, their jokes, their complicity, their trust, their intimacy, the feelings they had for each other - was not indispensable, was a punch in his rib cage, painful and devastating. The refusal to think of a lifetime without having known her.

Trying not to look broken, Ethan ran a hand through his hair, “Do you think he was right?”

His voice was firm, stoic, not leaking his true emotions; a skill he acquired after spending months forcing himself to remain indifferent.

“Absolutely not! How could you think something like that?” Rain vented, suddenly turning to him; electric lightnings darted through her irises, the disdain in her words twisted her lips in a grimace.

“Just because it happened, doesn’t mean that now I’m regretting all the choices I’ve made in my life. You know how much I love being a doctor, you know how much I love helping people, you know how much I love…”

But the pained expression on Ethan’s face killed the words in her mouth.

Rain sighed, clutching her arms around her torso, “Being a doctor is what I am, what I was always supposed to be, and I will never feel sorry for being myself.”

Tired, Rain passed her hands over her face; a lonely tear crossed her cheek, falling on her lap.

“It’s just that sometimes, when I feel this shitty, I imagine what River would say if he was with me.”

“Do you miss him?” asked Ethan cautiously.

Rain shrugged “After he moved back to Milan for university, I got used to not having him around anymore.”

The unexpected sound of what seemed like a laugh broke the tension that had fallen in the car.

“But during our childhood and our teenage years, we were inseparable. When there was one, there were also the other. And people always found us super annoying,” Rain’s face lit up; a little glimpse of her usual captivating enthusiasm that Ethan had missed during the last week.

“When we read Harry Potter for the first time, we desperately wanted to be like Fred and George. I remember that we spent a whole summer memorizing lines and dialogues, so that we could finish each other’s sentences while talking with other people. We loved driving everyone mad.”

Stopping the car to let a pedestrian pass on the road, Ethan allowed himself to laugh, “I don’t know who these Fred and George are, but it’s hard to imagine you being more annoying than you already are.”

Giggling, Rain gave him a slightly blow on the arm, “don’t pretend you don’t like my amazing irritating personality.”

“I’m afraid I’m quite fond of your _irritating personality._ ”

Ethan looked at her, eyes softened, and lips tugged in a tender smile. A sudden tingle crept on Rain’s cheeks; that unpredicted compliment made her lose her breath, like a fire that pinched her skin, making her heart skip a beat.

“Anyway,” she cleared her throat, trying to compose herself, “I know it’s probably silly, but the thing about River is that even if he’s miles away, I still feel him with me. Supporting me, calling me out, giving me words of advice… you know, things like that.”

Moving the steering wheel with one hand to take the road leading to Rain’s place, Ethan shook his head “It’s not silly at all” his words were serious, filled with a deeper meaning than what they held; the memories of those lonely months in the Amazon on his mind. The weight of that affirmation impregnated the air inside the cubicle; the remorse of talks that never happened and questions never solved.

Outside the car, the chaos of the city had given way to the tranquillity of one of the residential areas of Boston; terraced buildings were flanked by trees and flowering hedges between their gates. The familiar view made Rain heaved out a small sigh. 

“I’m sorry I’ve snapped at you like that at the funeral, it wasn’t the right time,” she took a purple lock of her hair and started playing with it, too embarrassed to look at Ethan.

“I mean, I’m not sorry to have said that you bitched and whined the whole year –I really think that- but it wasn’t fair to you, not in that moment.”

Frustrated, her fingers clasped in a fist “I’m such an idiot sometimes.”

To her surprise, Ethan’s hand rested on hers; his thumb gently stroking her skin; electric sparks ran through her body, making Rain shiver from that touch. She raised her head slowly, locking their glances once again; the same longing and the same suffering were mirrored in their eyes.

“I know, Rain,” he said softly, “you weren’t an idiot. It’s okay.”

Their fingers intertwined unwittingly; the grip so strong as to prevent one from falling into the agony of the other. The only lifeline in an ocean of sadness.

Without saying another word, Ethan pulled over to the curb outside Rain’s apartment; the silence inside the car was broken by the incessant drumming of the rain and the gentle woosh of the wipers swishing swiftly back and forth.

After taking a quick look out the window, Rain was the first one to speak.

“By the way,” she said, her voice flooding with worry, “Are you okay? I don’t think I’ve asked you that yet.”

Ethan took a deep breath. With the beat of the rain in time with the beating of his heart, he gave himself the permission to do a faint smile. Perhaps the rain really knew it; perhaps those drops of water were the reflection of all the tears he had repressed during the past days, too insistent to be contained again. And like those tears, even his own thoughts had become too heavy to keep them within himself.

Afraid of the consequences of what he was about to say, he sought in Rain’s warm eyes the strength to tell the truth. And as he saw her there, close to him - her sweet face overwhelmed by her concern for him- Ethan finally felt the hope her mother had attributed to the rain. He was finally ready to tell her everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am with my first fic about Open Heart and I’m really nervous. I don’t know, I love OH MC so much and I’ve been wanted to write something about her for a long time. The desire to give her a more complex background story led me to create this piece, not to mention that the last chapters of Open Heart were so delightfully angsty that they provide a great source of inspiration. I just hope that I’ve done justice to my beloved Ethan.  
> Thanks for reading it, it means a lot!


End file.
